Official grade slip

Ranked #331 of 361 on X

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@stratechery

HOMEROOMThe Debate Pit

SUBJECTGRADE

Original PostsA+

RagebaitF

SincerityD

ShitpostingD

Not a RobotINC^*

YapperC

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.72/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The personal brand is speaking and the person has left the building."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

* Not a Robot: Grade pending. Not enough posts to judge whether this is a robot.

Assigned to the debate wing. Strong opinions will be accommodated.

Assigned to summer school. There is significant room for improvement.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my report card and it says: original thinker. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/x/stratechery

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.