reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #123 of 426 on X

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@saturnvxiii
HOMEROOMThe Pep Rally
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsB
RagebaitD
SincerityA+
ShitpostingB
Not a RobotA+
YapperF
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.82/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Posts that feel written, not produced. The teacher actually read these."

F in Yapper means they say it and stop.

Assigned to the support track. The encouragement is appreciated.

Honor roll. Please try not to let it affect your posting habits.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSX · reportcard.lol

@saturnvxiii on X: GPA 3.82 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Sincerity (A+), weakest Original Posts (B). Teacher's comment: "Posts that feel written, not produced. The teacher actually read these.".

Captionreportcard.lol/r/x/saturnvxiii

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.