reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #406 of 437 on X

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@linear
HOMEROOMThe Pep Rally
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsA
RagebaitF
SincerityD
ShitpostingD
Not a RobotD
Talking in ClassA
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.55/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The patterns are visible. Each format repeats on a predictable schedule."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Placed with the spirit committee. Enthusiasm has been documented.

Assigned to summer school. There is significant room for improvement.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSX · reportcard.lol

@linear on X: GPA 2.55 out of 4.30, summer school. Best subject Original Posts (A), weakest Sincerity (D). Teacher's comment: "The patterns are visible. Each format repeats on a predictable schedule.".

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Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.