reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #24 of 356 on X

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@jsneedles
HOMEROOMThe Open Mic
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsA
RagebaitF
SincerityA
ShitpostingB
Not a RobotA+
YapperF
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.98/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Posts without a hook designed to start a war in the comments. Every teacher's favorite."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

F in Yapper means they say it and stop.

Assigned to the comedy track. Use your powers responsibly.

Honor roll. Please try not to let it affect your posting habits.

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Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.