Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@doctorquince

HOMEROOMThe Open Mic

SUBJECTGRADE

Original PostsINC^*

RagebaitF

SincerityA+

ShitpostingB

Not a RobotA+

YapperF

HONOR ROLL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE4.04/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"F in Ragebait. Meaning they never bait anyone. The teacher is suspicious."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

F in Yapper means they say it and stop.

* Original Posts: INC. The sample did not have enough to call it either way.

Enrolled in the shitposting seminar. Attendance is the only requirement.

On the honor roll. The teacher had to read the card twice.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.

Official grade slip

Grade another handle

How grading works