reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #125 of 426 on X

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@alex__backup
HOMEROOMThe Open Mic
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsB
RagebaitF
SincerityA+
ShitpostingB
Not a RobotA+
YapperD
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.82/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Posts without a hook designed to start a war in the comments. Every teacher's favorite."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Assigned to the comedy track. Use your powers responsibly.

Honor roll. Please try not to let it affect your posting habits.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSX · reportcard.lol

@alex__backup on X: GPA 3.82 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Sincerity (A+), weakest Original Posts (B). Teacher's comment: "Posts without a hook designed to start a war in the comments. Every teacher's favorite.".

Captionreportcard.lol/r/x/alex__backup

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.