reportcard.lol
Back to class

Official grade slip

Ranked #19 of 36 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@techcrunch
HOMEROOMThe Pep Rally
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsD
Emoji RestraintA+
RagebaitF
SincerityD
ShitpostingD
AttendanceA
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.60/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Submits work that reads like everyone else's feed, word for word."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Enrolled in community management. The team needs more of this energy.

Summer school recommended. Fewer opinions, more drafts.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSThreads · reportcard.lol

Captionreportcard.lol/r/threads/techcrunch

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.