reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026
"Posts read like a keynote at a conference nobody registered for."
Assigned to the optimization wing. The teacher follows the numbers.
Summer school. Show up, do the reading, try new things.
@oprah on Threads: GPA 2.17 out of 4.30, summer school. Best subject Emoji Restraint (B), weakest Sincerity (D). Teacher's comment: "Posts read like a keynote at a conference nobody registered for.".
Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/threads/oprah?v=mukrc30u
Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.
Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.
What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.
What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.
reportcard.lol