reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #14 of 36 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@openai
HOMEROOMThe Pep Rally
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsB
Emoji RestraintA
RagebaitF
SincerityD
ShitpostingB
AttendanceC
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.88/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The personal brand is speaking and the person has left the building."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Assigned to the support track. The encouragement is appreciated.

Assigned to summer school. There is significant room for improvement.

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Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.