Official grade slip

Ranked #31 of 36 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@mcdonalds

HOMEROOMThe Control Room

SUBJECTGRADE

Original PostsINC^*

Emoji RestraintA

RagebaitB

SincerityINC^*

ShitpostingB

AttendanceF

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.25/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Actually funny. The feed is better with this one in it."

* Original Posts: Grade incomplete. Not enough posts to determine original versus borrowed content.

* Sincerity: INC. The sample was too short to establish a consistent voice.

Assigned to the optimization wing. The teacher follows the numbers.

Summer school recommended. Fewer opinions, more drafts.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my report card and it says: seen once, never again. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/threads/mcdonalds

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.