Official grade slip

Ranked #21 of 36 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@cnn

HOMEROOMAura Farming

SUBJECTGRADE

Original PostsD

Emoji RestraintA+

RagebaitF

SincerityF

ShitpostingD

AttendanceA+

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.48/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The person and the brand are indistinguishable. The teacher is filing a report."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Placed in the main character track. Supporting roles were not available.

Assigned to summer school. There is significant room for improvement.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my report card and it says: never misses a day. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/threads/cnn

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.