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Official grade slip

Ranked #24 of 41 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@cnn
HOMEROOMAura Farming
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsD
Emoji RestraintA+
RagebaitF
SincerityF
ShitpostingF
AttendanceA+
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.32/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"A feed with no rough edges, no surprises, and no evidence a human runs it."

F in Ragebait is the good one. They never bait.

Placed in the main character track. Supporting roles were not available.

Assigned to summer school. There is significant room for improvement.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSThreads · reportcard.lol

@cnn on Threads: GPA 2.32 out of 4.30, summer school. Best subject Emoji Restraint (A+), weakest Sincerity (F). Teacher's comment: "A feed with no rough edges, no surprises, and no evidence a human runs it.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/threads/cnn?v=mukrc2q2

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.