Official grade slip

Ranked #28 of 36 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@buzzfeed

HOMEROOMThe Control Room

SUBJECTGRADE

Original PostsD

Emoji RestraintA+

RagebaitD

SincerityINC^*

ShitpostingC

AttendanceF

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.26/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Showed up at the beginning, checked in occasionally, left without explanation."

* Sincerity: Grade pending. The voice was too inconsistent to assess.

Reporting to the media lab. Your engagement metrics preceded you.

Summer school. The feedback has been detailed. The teacher wishes luck.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my report card and it says: uses words. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/threads/buzzfeed

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.