reportcard.lol
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Official grade slip

Ranked #39 of 41 on Threads

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENT@buzzfeed
HOMEROOMThe Control Room
SUBJECTGRADE
Original PostsD
Emoji RestraintA+
RagebaitC
SincerityD
ShitpostingC
AttendanceF
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE1.88/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Most posts arrived from somewhere else and unpacked here without a note about the trip."

Reporting to the media lab. Your engagement metrics preceded you.

Summer school. The feedback has been detailed. The teacher wishes luck.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSThreads · reportcard.lol

@buzzfeed on Threads: GPA 1.88 out of 4.30, summer school. Best subject Emoji Restraint (A+), weakest Attendance (F). Teacher's comment: "Most posts arrived from somewhere else and unpacked here without a note about the trip.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/threads/buzzfeed?v=mukrc2p4

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your posts read, not how popular they are. A high follower count doesn't help you here.

What counts: saying something specific instead of vague, making a point that isn't restated common knowledge, sounding like a real person, and being at least a little funny.

What doesn't count: follower numbers, likes, how many replies you get. The grade is about what you say when you do post.