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Official grade slip

Ranked #5 of 46 on LinkedIn

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTLex van Dommelen (techiesreviews)
HOMEROOMNetworking 101
SUBJECTGRADE
Honest TitlesA
Corporate SpeakB
Plain EnglishA+
Hot TakesA
YapperA+
TenureC
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.60/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"One-line thoughts from top to bottom of the feed. The format is unmistakable."

Broetry: the one-line stanza format runs through the feed.

Seated in the network activation lab. The feed is mostly reactions to other people's posts.

On the honor roll. The teacher has added a note for anyone who checks.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSLinkedIn · reportcard.lol

techiesreviews on LinkedIn: GPA 3.60 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Plain English (A+), weakest Honest Titles (A). Teacher's comment: "One-line thoughts from top to bottom of the feed. The format is unmistakable.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/techiesreviews?v=muky4yvk

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.