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Official grade slip

Ranked #12 of 46 on LinkedIn

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTPatrick Karsh (patrickarsh)
HOMEROOMThought Leadership
SUBJECTGRADE
Honest TitlesA
Corporate SpeakB
Humble BragA
Hot TakesB
YapperA
TenureB
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.50/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The jargon density is moderate. One pause was required, and it was brief."

Seated in the op-ed department. The takes are already queued and ready to post.

On the honor roll. The teacher has added a note for anyone who checks.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSLinkedIn · reportcard.lol

patrickarsh on LinkedIn: GPA 3.50 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Honest Titles (A), weakest Keeping It Short (A). Teacher's comment: "The jargon density is moderate. One pause was required, and it was brief.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/patrickarsh?v=muky4ys7

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How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.