Official grade slip

No. 001 / Fall term

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTPatrick Karsh (patrickarsh)

HOMEROOMPersonal Journey

SUBJECTGRADE

Honest TitlesA+

Plain EnglishA+

ModestyA

ReferencesINC^*

AttendanceB

Keeping It ShortB

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.72/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Accurate throughout. The job titles are the job, not an aspiration toward it."

* References: Grade pending. Not enough references to establish a baseline.

Assigned to the authentic leadership class. The vulnerability has been noted.

Summer school. Several sections need a rewrite and one needs a delete.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my linkedin report card and it says: actually does the job. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/patrickarsh

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Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.