Official grade slip

No. 001 / Fall term

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTMatt Cromwell (mattcromwell)

HOMEROOMThought Leadership

SUBJECTGRADE

Honest TitlesA

Plain EnglishA+

ModestyA+

ReferencesINC^*

AttendanceA

Keeping It ShortC

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.72/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Plain language throughout. The teacher read this whole profile without squinting."

* References: Grade pending. Not enough references to establish a baseline.

Enrolled in the executive voice seminar. The room is ready for the discourse.

Summer school. The profile is close. The draft is just not the final version.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my linkedin report card and it says: quiet achiever. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/mattcromwell

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.