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Official grade slip

Ranked #7 of 46 on LinkedIn

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTJeff Weiner (jeffweiner08)
HOMEROOMThought Leadership
SUBJECTGRADE
Honest TitlesA
Corporate SpeakC
Humble BragA
Hot TakesB
YapperA
TenureA+
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.55/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Corporate vocabulary runs the about section. The job description is the opening act."

Moved to the unsolicited insights lab. The posts arrive whether the room asks or not.

On the honor roll. The teacher has added a note for anyone who checks.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSLinkedIn · reportcard.lol

jeffweiner08 on LinkedIn: GPA 3.55 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Honest Titles (A), weakest Keeping It Short (A). Teacher's comment: "Corporate vocabulary runs the about section. The job description is the opening act.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/jeffweiner08?v=muky4yn8

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

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How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.