Official grade slip

No. 001 / Fall term

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTJeff Weiner (jeffweiner)

HOMEROOMGrowth Strategy

SUBJECTGRADE

Honest TitlesA

Plain EnglishA+

ModestyA+

ReferencesINC^*

AttendanceA

Keeping It ShortF

SUMMER SCHOOL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE3.32/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The about section is very long. The teacher will not read all of it. The grade reflects that."

* References: Grade incomplete. The recommendations were too few to assess.

Assigned to the growth strategy lab. Optimization has been noted.

Summer school. The personal brand has not yet graduated.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my linkedin report card and it says: linkedin essayist. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/jeffweiner

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.