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Official grade slip

Ranked #39 of 46 on LinkedIn

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTAlexander M. LaBarbera (amlabarbera)
HOMEROOMGrowth Strategy
SUBJECTGRADE
Honest TitlesB
Corporate SpeakB
Humble BragB
Plain EnglishA
YapperD
TenureB
HONOR ROLL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.83/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"Ambitious about section. Got through it once and will not be going back."

Seated in the growth-first section. The engagement strategy is the main product.

Honor roll. Your connections would be proud, if they read these.

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amlabarbera on LinkedIn: GPA 2.83 out of 4.30, honor roll. Best subject Plain English (A), weakest Keeping It Short (D). Teacher's comment: "Ambitious about section. Got through it once and will not be going back.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/amlabarbera?v=muky4yip

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

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How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.