Official grade slip

No. 001 / Fall term

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTAlex Friend (alexemfriend)

HOMEROOMExecutive Summary

SUBJECTGRADE

Honest TitlesA

Plain EnglishA+

ModestyA+

ReferencesINC^*

AttendanceA

Keeping It ShortA+

HONOR ROLL

GRADE POINT AVERAGE4.18/ 4.30

TEACHER'S COMMENT

"No buzzwords, no jargon, no leverage in sight. Just the actual work."

* References: INC. Fewer than three recommendations in the profile. The sample is thin.

Placed in the contrarian insights track. The position is usually short and loud.

Honor roll. Your connections would be proud, if they read these.

PARENT SIGNATURE

Captionjust got my linkedin report card and it says: brag-free. what does yours say?reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/alexemfriend

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.