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Official grade slip

No. 001 / Fall term

Doomscroll District School

reportcard.lol · SEMESTER: Fall 2026

STUDENTAaron Pollet (aaronpollet)
HOMEROOMThought Leadership
SUBJECTGRADE
Honest TitlesB
Corporate SpeakC
AttendanceA
Plain EnglishA+
YapperD
TenureC
SUMMER SCHOOL
GRADE POINT AVERAGE2.72/ 4.30
TEACHER'S COMMENT

"The about section is longer than the experience section. It has ambitions beyond its format."

Placed in the executive voice seminar. The room was already full of declarations.

Summer school. The personal brand has not yet graduated.

PARENT SIGNATURE
FILE UNDER: POSTING HABITSLinkedIn · reportcard.lol

aaronpollet on LinkedIn: GPA 2.72 out of 4.30, summer school. Best subject Plain English (A+), weakest Keeping It Short (D). Teacher's comment: "The about section is longer than the experience section. It has ambitions beyond its format.".

Captionwww.reportcard.lol/r/linkedin/aaronpollet?v=muky4yg2

Sign the slip if you like. The signature stays on this device.

Grade another handle

How grading works

Your grades measure how your LinkedIn profile reads, not how many connections you have.

What counts: job titles that match the work, plain language without corporate jargon, achievements stated without the humblebrag wrapper, recommendations that sound like real people, showing up for a while, and keeping the about section readable.

What doesn't count: connection count, follower numbers, or which companies you've worked at. The grade is about how the profile reads.